Day 6

I just weighed myself this morning and I've lost 10lbs in 5 days or 6 days I guess. Well no, technically it's 5 days since I started Monday morning, well wait, that means 6 days huh? Anyhoo, I've lost 10lbs., I'm so happy and feel somewhat determined. I say somewhat only because in the last couple of days I've had heart palpitations and I've been trying to figure out what is causing it.  I unfortunately can't drink tea or coffee because of the caffeine, yet I could drink soda. Strong tea and coffee gives me heart palpitations and makes my heart beat super fast, scary fast.

Some years ago I went into the ER thinking I was having a heart attack and the dr.s told me I was having a panic attack. I refused to agree with them because at the moment I wasn't under any stress or upset. At the contrary I was super happy so it just didn't make sense. It happened in 2010 and I went in 2x that year and 3 times in early 2011 for the same reason, thinking it was a heart attack. In time I quickly found out I'm just allergic to caffeine in high dosages.  So tea and coffee are a big NO NO for me, also ginger. Ginger has the same effect, which sucks because I love ginger in my juices. I can have really small amounts of it, but then I want more and I can't.  So this time around, my heart palpitations haven't been as bad as in the past, but they are still discomforting and worrisome. My husband says it's just me feeling more energy. He could be right because when I do get them I feel like going for a run, I haven't done so yet because it's in the middle of the night or I'm just feeling lazy at nights after work and during the day I'm at work so I can't go running.  Then I start thinking, WTF, is this what energy feels like. I'm 37 yrs. old and I've never known (or can't remember) what it feels like to have energy so I may just be energized, who knows. Either way, I will get checked when I come back from Japan in April.

Oh yeah, I leave for Japan next Monday on the 24th for work. Only for a week. I'll have to break my juice fast, but I'm OK with it because at times I do feel like I'm starving myself. Although I'm not because I'm juicing and making sure I get all my vitamins and proteins in my juices.  I do miss eating though. However, losing 10lbs has me excited to lose more. If I lost 10 in 5 days, I hope I can lose 20lbs in 10-14 days.  I still have the rest of the day ahead of me and it's Saturday so it might be hard for me, but my husband said he'll do it with me this weekend so I won't feel bad when we're out.  He's so nice, but I want him to eat because he is too thin. You see, we are like Kermit the Frog & Ms. Piggy.  I need to lose and he needs to gain. He's 6'1 and weighs 168lbs. For his height, he is too thin.  It's embarrassing to say that I weigh more than double his size.  Hopefully not for long!

Day 4

Wow, I've actually stuck to it. Last time around I cheated on day 4 with some chicken at my mom's. Today I'm cooking dinner for my husband and just put a teeny tiny bit of of the fried skin in my mouth of his fake fried chicken.  It disolved in my mouth. All days hasn't been so bad, but when I got home and cooked for my husband for the first time since starting the detox, I grew very weak. However, I survived!

Day 2

Today was a hard long day. I'm hungry and have a headache. In the morning and early afternoon I was fine. wasn't so hungry. I had lunch drink at 2pm because I wasn't so hungry. At around 4 I started starving and my stomach started making starving noises. That's when my headache started. I was sooooo tempted to eat today too. My boss decided to buy Mr. Baguette for the office. Mr. Baguette is like a Subways. I played with the thought of a sandwich still being healthy and if I'm to cheat it's best with a sandwich. I toyed with that for about 5 minutes and had to tear down walls in my brain in order to find my will power. Tomorrow I have another test. I have a meeting where I'm sure they will have some food, they always do. It's with Malaysia Tourism Board and they always have something or their staff may want to go for lunch. We'll see what happens.
As far as tonight, i'm hungry still, but won't eat. I want to stay strong, but it's hard when food pops in my mind. Food like chicken wings, cookies, Loius in Downtown LA.   Ok, I need to stop this.  Going to drink my juice right now, but first I have to tell my hubby the new veggies I want. He's going shopping today for more veggies for my drinks.

Take 4- Tired of being FAT

Wow, I'm in shock to read my old posts, starting from 2010. Last year I didn't post anything. So here I go again...same ol same ol, but maybe with a twist.

It's 2014 and today I weighed in at 303lbs. Started juicing again today. Still married to Mike. We've had our ups and downs, but for the most part I'm on a good high right now. We still hardly ever have sex, but we do love each other and can't seem to know what we would do if we weren't together. Mike is currently making my juice and will do so for the next 9 days, 10 days in total. Today and tomorrow I will have the same, kale, lemon, celery, apple, cucumber and oranges. I think Wednesday I will need to spice things up a bit. Oh yeah, today is Monday. Starting the week with a diet like usual. I'm leaving to Japan for the 4th time on March 24th and hope to lose some weight in order to fit comfortably on the plane. This is my new goal. I still have my goal of losing a lot of weight and getting pregnant, but that still hasn't happened.

So I'm back to square 1 or should I say TAKE 4. It's sad I know, but this is the life of a person who is fat and loves food with no will power. The twist, why a twist and is it even a real TWIST. Probably not, but it's something, I just can't find a word for it. My twist is that I'm aware that I've never finished any of my goals in life, at least the important ones that count. Like for example, I will start something like school and never finish. Didn't finish college. I will start a diet and never lose or stick with it long enough to see good, lasting results. Well the twist is that I'm 37 years old and I think it's about damn time I start and finish something important. I want that important thing to be this juice diet. My goal is 10 days and see how it goes. I leave in 14 days, but I'll set a small goal of 10 days and see how it goes. I can drink soup and eat jello, but I want to just veggie/fruit juice until I'm about to kill someone and then only until then will I have soup and maybe jello.